To All the Mediocre Women Out There


Photo: GERARD PUIGMAL/Getty Images

To the woman washing her underwear in the shower with shampoo instead of doing laundry.

To the woman who didn’t raise her hand in class, not because she was shy, but because she didn’t care.

To the woman who will never understand what Bitcoin is, no matter how many articles she tries to read.

To the woman who always manages to make the conversation about her when her friends need support.

To the woman who said she was working from home to finish a project, and then spent the whole day watching Below Deck Mediterranean, eating Triscuits, and masturbating.

To the woman who didn’t register to vote but posted a “Get out and vote!!!!” selfie anyway.

To the woman who cancels 60 percent of the plans she makes.

To the woman who is late to absolutely everything, and laughs about it like it’s a quirky personality trait instead of a choice to value other people’s time less than her own.

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