Does Jake Gyllenhaal Constantly Frame Photos of Himself?


Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Imagine this. You enter Jake Gyllenhaal’s home. Maybe you’re there to have sex with him, or maybe you’re there just to hang out because you guys are friends. Maybe you were invited to a dinner party he’s hosting, or maybe you’re attending the dinner party as a plus-one, and you’re nervous. Regardless, you enter through a long, dimly lit hallway of framed photos. As you pass the eyes of each photo somehow seem to follow you. Are they … moving? You take a closer look. Oh my God.

They are all photos of Jake Gyllenhaal.

You move into the living room — more framed photos of Jake Gyllenhaal. In fear you topple backward into the kitchen: more framed photos of Jake Gyllenhaal. You rush through the house — Jake Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal. There is no escape. You lock yourself in the bathroom, splash some water on your face. This can’t be true, you must be hallucinating. As you raise your head to look into the mirror it is … oh no … another photo?? … no … it’s … THE REAL JAKE GYLLENHAAL!

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